Well, let me tell ya somethin’ ’bout this Bryson DeChambeau fella and his golf stick, the one he uses to whack that little white ball a country mile. They call it a driver, I reckon. Bryson DeChambeau’s driver, that’s what the young folks are chatterin’ about these days.
Now, I ain’t no golfer, you hear? I’m just an old woman who’s seen a thing or two. But even I can tell this Bryson boy ain’t your average fella on the green. He swings that club like he’s tryin’ to knock the moon out of the sky! And that driver of his, well, it’s somethin’ special, I guess.
Folks say he holds it up in the air before he swings. Says he’s gettin’ it just right, you know, where he wants it to be when he hits that ball. He’s been doin’ it forever, he says. Guess that’s his way. Everyone’s got their own way of doin’ things, ain’t they? He wants that club and his body all lined up perfect, just so. Makes sense, I suppose, if you’re tryin’ to hit that ball as far as he does.
- He wants that golf stick at the right height.
- He wants his body all lined up.
- He wants to hit that ball real, real far.
Now, they tell me this boy, Bryson, he got himself a whole heap of money playin’ this golf. Signed some kinda paper, a contract they call it, for a whole lot of greenbacks. Millions, they say! Can you imagine? All that money just for hittin’ a little ball with a stick. Well, I guess if you can hit it as far as he does, maybe you deserve it. They say he signed it with somethin’ called LIV Golf. Don’t know what that is, but it sounds fancy. And they paid him a boatload of money, enough to make your head spin.
People are always tryin’ to figure out how he hits that ball so far. They watch him swing, they measure his moves, they even got some fancy app on their phones to break it all down. Mustard Golf, they call it. Sounds like somethin’ you’d put on a hot dog, not somethin’ for golf. But these young folks and their gadgets, they’re always comin’ up with somethin’ new. They say they measure how much he twists and turns his body. I tell you, he must be strong as an ox to swing that thing like he does. Bryson DeChambeau driver swing is somethin’ else, let me tell ya.
I heard tell he almost won some kinda long-drive contest. Hit that ball over 400 yards, they said. Four hundred yards! That’s like walkin’ from here to the church and back, twice! And he almost won it! Came in second, they said. Second! That’s still pretty darn good, if you ask me. Bryson DeChambeau distance, that’s what people are talkin’ about.
And you know what else they say? They say he’s got a big ol’ handle on that driver. A massive grip, they called it. Guess that helps him hold on tight when he’s swingin’ for the fences. I reckon it must, seein’ how far he hits that ball. Bryson DeChambeau grip, it’s a big one, apparently. You know, like grabbin’ onto a big ol’ broom handle, only fancier, I guess.
So, this Bryson DeChambeau driver, it ain’t just any old golf club, you see? It’s a special piece of equipment, used by a fella who knows how to swing it. And he swings it hard, and he swings it far. And he makes a whole lot of money doin’ it. Well, good for him, I say. If you can make a livin’ hittin’ a little white ball with a stick, more power to ya. It’s a funny old world, ain’t it? People doin’ all sorts of things to make a buck. And this Bryson boy, he’s found his way, that’s for sure. He’s got that Bryson DeChambeau power, and he knows how to use it.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go make some supper. All this talk about golf and big ol’ sticks is makin’ me hungry. But you remember what I told ya, this Bryson fella and his driver, they’re somethin’ special. Don’t know much about golf, but I know a thing or two about people, and this boy, he’s got somethin’ special, that’s for sure. And that Bryson DeChambeau longest driver, well, it’s a part of that somethin’ special. And that’s all there is to it. He can hit that ball a country mile, and that’s a fact.
