My Jaw Wiring Adventure: Trying to Chat
Alright, so picture this: I had this surgery, yeah? Necessary stuff, doc said. Woke up, and bam, my jaw was wired shut. Like, properly clamped down. First thought wasn’t even pain, it was ‘How the heck am I gonna talk?’
They gave me the rundown before, you know, ‘liquid diet’, ‘communication challenges’, blah blah. But theory is one thing, reality hits different. I tried saying something simple, maybe ‘thanks’ to the nurse. Came out like a muffled grunt. Seriously, just ‘Mmmph’. Not exactly clear communication.
First few days back home were wild. Mostly frustrating. My family tried, bless ’em. They’d ask questions, and I’d sit there trying to force sounds through clenched teeth. It wasn’t talking. It was more like… humming aggressively? You can change the pitch, make some vague vowel sounds, maybe a hint of an ‘m’ or an ‘n’ if you really push air through your nose. But consonants like ‘t’ or ‘k’ or ‘s’? Forget it. Impossible.
So, what did I actually do?
- Whiteboard became my best friend: Got a small one, carried it everywhere around the house. Scribbled notes constantly. Quick questions, answers, pointing. Looked ridiculous, but it worked. Mostly.
- Phone Notes App: Saved my bacon when out and about. Typing stuff out took longer, but better than confusing gestures. Ordering food was an adventure in typing and pointing.
- Gestures Galore: Became a master charades player overnight. Thumbs up, thumbs down, pointing, shoulder shrugs. You’d be surprised how much you can get across without words when you absolutely have to.
- The Mumble-Hum Technique: Okay, I didn’t give up entirely on sounds. I practiced. Tried to make distinct hums for ‘yes’ and ‘no’. Developed a sort of low grunt for ‘okay’. Sometimes, if I spoke really slowly and focused on the vibrations, my wife could catch a word or two. Mostly just the gist, though. It was exhausting work, honestly. My jaw muscles, even though clamped, felt tired from just trying.
Did it get easier?
Yeah, a bit. People around me got better at interpreting the mumbles and gestures. I got faster with the whiteboard and phone. But ‘talking’? Nah, not really. Phone calls were a nightmare. Usually just texted or had someone else talk for me. Trying to hum intelligibly over a phone line? Good luck with that.
There were funny moments, looking back. Like trying to yell at the cat without actually yelling. Just ended up making weird growly hums. Confused the poor thing completely. Then there were the super frustrating times, like when I really needed to explain something complex and just couldn’t get it across fast enough.
So, to answer the question plainly: Can you talk with your jaw wired shut? My experience says no, not in any normal sense. You can make sounds. You can communicate through writing and gestures. You can develop a weird, limited hum-language that maybe, maybe your closest people will start to decipher. But actual conversation? Nope. It really makes you appreciate the simple act of opening your mouth and letting words fly out. Something you totally take for granted until you can’t do it.
