Well, let me tell ya, this NFL draft thing, it’s causin’ a whole heap of fuss downtown. They’re closin’ roads left and right, makin’ it harder than gettin’ a hen to sit on a china egg.
Road Closures, Road Closures Everywhere
They say it’s for the 2024 NFL Draft, whatever that is. Sounds fancy, but all I know is it’s makin’ it a pain to get around. They started closin’ roads way back in March, somethin’ about six phases. Six! Like a dog has six tails. It’s more complicated than tryin’ to figure out why the rooster crows at 3 am.
- First off, they shut down part of that Woodward Avenue. Northbound, you know, goin’ towards… well, wherever north is. From Congress Street to State Street.
- Then, they took a lane on the southbound side of Woodward, over by that Campus Martius place. Fancy name, I bet they charge a dollar just to breathe the air there.
- Cadillac Square? Yep, closed too. Eastbound from Woodward to Randolph, and westbound from Randolph to Bates. Like they’re tryin’ to keep folks out, not welcome ‘em in.
They say they’ll have the full list of closures later, but for now, this is what we gotta deal with. More twists and turns than a country road, I tell ya.
So, How You Gonna Get Around?
Now, they’re sayin’ there’s other ways to get downtown. Buses and such. But I ain’t ridin’ no bus. Smells like old gym socks and yesterday’s lunch. They also got this thing called the NFL’s OnePass app. Says it’s got maps and information. Maps? I got a map in my head, been usin’ it for 80 years. But I guess these city folk need their fancy gadgets.
They’re expectin’ a whole mess of people. Heard someone say hundreds of thousands. Enough to fill a cornfield, I reckon. They even had to shut down the entrances one night ‘cause too many folks showed up. Like ants to a spilled sugar jar, I tell ya.
What’s This NFL Draft All About Anyway?
From what I gather, it’s somethin’ about football teams pickin’ new players. Each team gets a pick in each round, seven rounds in all. Seems like a lot of fuss over pickin’ players, but then again, I never understood why folks pay good money to watch grown men chase a pigskin.
They pick ‘em in the reverse order of how they finished last season. So, the worst team gets the first pick, I guess. Makes sense, kinda like gettin’ the first crack at the pie at the church social if you brought the worst casserole.
Eatin’, Drinkin’, and Shoppin’ Downtown
And if you do manage to get downtown, seems there’s plenty of places to eat, drink, and spend your hard-earned money. They even got parking for five bucks. Five bucks! That’s enough to buy a whole chicken. But I guess for city folk, that’s a bargain.
They say this whole NFL draft thing is free to get into. Free, huh? Nothin’s free in this world, except maybe advice, and even that can cost ya. But I guess if you’re into football and crowds, it might be worth the hassle of all them road closures.
So, if you’re headin’ downtown, be prepared. Check them road closures, figure out how you’re gonna get there, and maybe bring a sandwich. ‘Cause with all them people, you might be waitin’ a while for a table. And for goodness sake, don’t ask me for directions. I ain’t been downtown since they had horse-drawn carriages. And even then, I got lost.
The whole thing, this draft, the road closures, it’s a lot to take in. Makes a body tired just thinkin’ about it. But I guess that’s progress for ya. Always changin’ things, makin’ it harder for folks like me to keep up. But we manage. We always do. Just like we always find a way to get around a closed road, even if it means takin’ the long way ’round.
