This here NFL fantasy football thing, it’s got me all riled up. Trying to figure out how to remove a player, and it’s like trying to catch a greased pig! You young folks with your fancy phones and computers, might know how to do this. I need to know, how to remove a player from my fantasy football team.
Now, I heard some talk about going to some “team page” thing. Sounds like a bunch of hooey to me. But I reckon that’s where you gotta start. I guess you gotta find your team first, and then there’s probably a button or something. Should be simple, right? My grandson tried to explain it, but he was talking so fast, a whole lot of fancy words. I do not understand how those things works.
They say there’s something called “Edit Draft Strategy”. What in tarnation is that? Sounds like something a general in the army would do. Maybe that’s where you can remove a player? But I need simple things, I do not know what is “draft”, I only know “draft beer”.
- Find your team page.
- Look for something that says “Edit” or “Change”.
- Maybe there’s a button that says “Remove Player”.
- Or maybe you gotta click on the player’s name.
And then there’s this “exclude” thing. Like you’re kicking someone out of the house. If you “exclude” a player, does that mean he’s gone for good? I do not want to kick anyone, just remove them from my team. I just want him off my team, not sent to the cornfield! It should be simple, why make it so hard?
There is a “red tag” thing, what is that? I only know red cloth, is that same thing? Someone say “red tag” can put player into “IR slot”, and you can take him out any time. But you need to drop someone, then you can take him out. What is this? Why so many rules? Why can not just take him out?
Then some folks are talking about “roster settings”. Is that like setting the table for supper? You gotta put the plates and the forks just right? And there’s a “blue View link”. Blue like the sky? What’s a “View link” anyway? Is that like looking through a fence? Oh, this is all too much. I need a nap. My head is spinning more than a chicken on a june bug!
And don’t even get me started on “decreasing roster positions”. Sounds like you’re cutting down the roster like you’re thinning out the carrots in the garden. You have to “Reset the Draft” or something, is that like start all over? Like plowing the whole field and planting new seeds? Oh, for crying out loud. I just want remove the player, not rebuild the whole thing.
They say there is a “MANAGE” tab, and you need to “Reset the Draft”. That sounds like big trouble. Like when my old mule Bessie got loose and we had to manage the whole farm to find her. Is it like that? Oh, I hope not. I hope it is easier than finding Bessie.
Someone says, “Click Edit Rosters under the Roster Tools section.” What is “Roster Tools”? Are those like my garden hoe and shovel? And then you “Select which team to edit and move the player around.” Move him around? Like I’m moving my prize-winning rooster from one coop to another? I do not know what is “Roster Tools”, I only know my hoe and shovel.
And then they tell you to “Update your lineup”. Like you’re lining up the hogs for feeding time. Gotta keep them “active players” earning those “fantasy points”. Points? What are those? Are those like my blue ribbons from the county fair? I do not need points, I only want blue ribbons.
And don’t even get me started on “announcing it before the season begins”. Like I’m gonna stand up in front of the whole church and tell everyone I’m removing a player from my fantasy team? Why is that important? And they saying “you could choose when to start changing people’s rosters based on their opponent and whether you want them to win.” What kind of talk is that? Sounds like cheating to me!
I heard some folks talking about a button. Maybe a big red one that says “Remove Player“. That would be nice. Just one click and poof, he’s gone. Like magic. If only it were that easy. I just want a simple way to remove a player. Is that too much to ask?
This whole thing is giving me a headache. I think I need a strong cup of coffee and a piece of pie. Maybe that will clear my head. Or maybe I’ll just go tend to my chickens. They’re a lot less complicated than this NFL fantasy football thing. At least they don’t have any “roster settings” or “draft strategies”. Just good old-fashioned eggs and feathers. Much simpler, much simpler indeed. I think I need ask my grandson again, maybe he can show me. But I still do not understand those fancy words.
